The Past Comes Back to Haunt...

I lost a good friend yesterday, one from my "wild and wooly" teenage years. His name was Jonny, and he was in a band with someone I had been "in love" with for most of my life. Note I use quotes around "in love," as I never really knew what being in love was until my Greg came along. But that's another story...

Jonny was very sick for a very long time. He had terrible kidney problems, and was a very brittle diabetic. He had two kidney transplants, and both failed (the donors were two of his brothers). He was on dialysis daily for at least 20 years (yep, I said 20 years). He was never expected to live to be 25, much less 40+. It was a miracle we had him with us as long as we did.

He was a sweet, kind man, with a good heart and a sould filled with love for all that knew him. He never married or had kids, but his family and friends were extremely important to him. He was a gifted songwriter, singer, and musician, and a great friend. We will miss him very much.

That "someone" I mentioned earlier, the one I thought I was in love with for so long? He called me to give me the news. I had already heard, but I told him I appreciated him thinking of me. Before I hung up the phone, he said, "I love you, Sweetheart." I said, "I love you too..." but I realized that it was completely different now. I loved him as a friend, as a part of my past, as someone who once meant the world to me, but now was just someone I am very fond of. I told Greg about the phone call, all about it, and he was fine with it. Greg said, "it was nice of him to think of you." It was...

New Layout, New Post...can you tell I'm bored?

Hello All,

Okay, so I'm house/dog/cat/chicken-sitting for my friends Jane and Kevin this weekend, and my Greg has gone to get our little David at his mom's house. They won't be here with me until tomorrow, and I'm bored, bored, bored, bored, bored--as our old friend Garfield the Cat used to say. I was out of work today because of the snow (and I was out yesterday also), so I came down to Jane's early. I've had lunch, checked on the chickens, watched a little TV (how people can watch afternoon TV is beyond me--it's horrible!), and now I'm bored stiff. I could read, but it seems I never want to when I have time. Besides, the house hasn't really warmed up yet, and I can't read when it's cold. Maybe later.

So, here I am on the old blog. I changed the layout (which goes great with the photo of the sofa, huh? I'm loving it), and now I'm posting what is probably the most worthless prose in history (short of Ulysses by James Joyce, and I don't care whose "best of" list it's on, I HATE that stupid book--stream-of-consciousness writing only worked for Virginia Woolf, and thank God, unlike Joyce, she wasn't under the delusion she was getting paid by the word). If you read this, Lorri, and you are fond of James Joyce, forgive me Dear One. I just don't dig the guy at all. Give me Steinbeck any day--good, short books that pack a punch and get to the point--well, except for The Grapes of Wrath and East of Eden, but man, are they worth the time you spend wandering around.

Well, now I've made myself want to crack open a book after all. I brought Phillip Dick's (not one word, Onie, no matter how close the pun is to the tip of your tongue--lol) anthology that includes A Scanner Darkly (which was made into a very cool animated film last year, btw) and Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? which was the basis for the film "Blade Runner."

Have a good weekend, everyone. Take care.

The Newest Acquisitions to the Future Household...

We've found a sofa and loveseat...and I am absolutely in love with them. Take a look...


Tomato Red, Baby...oh yeah. It is so gorgeous, so Diva, and so ME. Greg loves it because I love it. Bless his heart.

So much to do...so little time (and brain cells) to do it with :P

Even the simplest weddings require a great deal of planning. I have found this out during the past few months, and no doubt it will get worse as time goes on.

The major things are done: We set a date, I have a wedding dress, the bridesmaids have their dresses, we have a church, and I have designed my invitations (which I am doing myself). My Maid of Honor (Jane) and I have planned the menu for the reception and made a list of all the things we will need for it.

Now it is down to the seemingly unending list of minor details...
Which wedding favors to get? How many?
What kind of sandwiches? Crust? No Crust?
One family table at the reception? Two? Three?
What kind of centerpieces?
Groom's cake flavor?
Color of tablecloths? Rent? Buy? Skip altogether?
Rice? Birdseed? Bubbles?

Not to mention we haven't started registering yet...for some reason, Greg doesn't want to be a part of this (duh--I get it; he's a GUY). His exact words were, "I don't care, just make sure you get a great coffeemaker, a microwave, and I will NOT sleep in a pink bedroom." haha. Silly boy, anyone who knows me knows I hate pink, unless it is clothing or makeup.

If you hear a frustrated scream coming from the area of middle Tennessee...you'll know it's because I've hit the meltdown point. Just ignore it...I will return to my senses shortly.

Funny How Time Flies...

I can't believe how long it has been since I've updated this blogsite. So, so much has happened. The last time I posted it was in September, Greg was in nursing school, and we were talking vaguely about getting married in 2008.

Wow...are we in need of an update around here.
Well, here goes:

This is a photo of my engagement ring/wedding band. I knew it was coming, but I had no idea it would be so very beautiful, or how much it would move me to get it. Bless his heart, my Darlin' saved up for a long time to get it, so there would be no payments. Very wise, I think. Greg proposed officially on January 5th, after he picked me up from work. He took me to a park right near the river, close to my home. We got out and sat on a bench, talked for a while, then he pulled out his guitar from the back of the car and told me he had a song he had "been working on" that he wanted me to hear. He sang the song "I Want to Grow Old With You" from the movie "The Wedding Singer." It was goofy and sweet and so, so romantic. When he went to put the guitar up, I saw a small white box in the guitar case. I immediately started crying. Not just crying, but boo-hooing--I am talking BUCKETS. Greg got down on one knee and proposed, but not before stopping some guy on a bicycle in order to have an official "witness." I was crying so hard I couldn't answer, but finally managed to choke out a "yes" so the poor guy could finish his ride. We went to see my mama, and she was waiting at the door--apparently Greg had been to see her that morning to "ask for my hand in marriage." He is so sweet and so loving. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

The big day? June 9th of this year. Nursing school didn't work out for Greg--not because of his grades, but because of a devil of a thing called a "nursing care plan." There's such a huge pool of students now that if you make 3 errors on a care plan, even minor ones, you are taken out of the program. That's what happened to my Greg. He had an A- average, but was still let go. So he's getting an EMT job, and later going to Paramedic training. The good part is we get married even sooner. We may be poor, but we'll be happy. Who cares if we're starting out with very little at 40-ish? There are people who live on less and are happy, and people who have much more and are miserable.

I can't believe this has all happened. I had given up on love. Thank God it hadn't given up on me.

Well, we're getting there...

It's not officially official, but Greg and I have narrowed our wedding plans down to June of '08, after he graduates from nursing school. I'm so thrilled. It also drives me crazy, thinking that I have to wait that long to be with this wonderful man I love...but I can handle it. He'll be so busy with school and I'll be so busy with work/wedding plans that the time will fly by...

So...

the conversation went like this (as he was changing clothes in my room before we went shopping/out to dinner at Carrabbas's):

Him: Man, I think these jeans are getting looser (big grin)

Me: Good for you, Baby! I never could get how you guys wear your pants under your belly, though...that would drive me nuts.

Him: You should have seen when my belly was really big...it used to really pooch out over my belt. Drove my first wife crazy.

Me: Your what did you say?

Him: My first wife. Thought I'd start calling her that, since you probably don't want to hear her name too much.

Me: Well, I appreciate that, honey.

Him: Besides, it has certain implications, wouldn't you say?

Me: (big smile) yes, I think you're right...as in if she's the first wife, then there's going to definitely be a second wife?

Him: Oh yeah, you can count on that.

Me: And we're already picked this goddess out?

Him: Yep.

Me: And that goddess would be me? (even bigger smile)

Him: Baby, you're the only goddess I know, and the only one I need to know.


Needless to say, it was a wonderful afternoon. We have so much fun together, he and I. We sing along with the radio, laugh so much it hurts sometimes, shop, walk hand-in-hand, steal kisses whenever possible, and it's all so comfortable, so RIGHT.

He told me that he and the first wife were never really "in love," that it was more like friends who decided to get married. He said he loves me in a completely different way than he loved her. He said the difference is passion...he never had a passion for her like he does for me.

I always heard the saying "love is friendship that has caught fire." I never truly believed it until he came along. It is possible to have someone be your lover and your best friend.

My best friend starts nursing school tomorrow. He's so excited that he won't sleep a wink tonight. I'm so proud of him.